It’s the last week of school.
My time is running out.
I have to make a move.
It’s now or never…
It’s Wednesday night = Penny Pitchers at our favorite campus bar, Humphrey’s. He’ll be there. I get ready, have a few drinks. Liquid courage in this situation is a must. And we’re off to Pennies!
We walk into the Quad. And there he is!!!!! FATE? I think so!
We all walk together to the bar. We all know I love him. He knows. His friends know. I know and my friends definitely know. This fact is overlooked, for the most part. Aside from me walking behind him making pinching motions at his spectacular buttocks and fake-swooning, the walk is relatively normal and uneventful. Uneventful? YEAH RIGHT!! I’m in the closest proximity to my love as I have ever been.
We get to the bar. Everyone talks and moves on. “I love you!” I say to his back as he walks away so only Meghan can hear me. She laughs and we make our rounds. The night rolls on, pitchers are bought and, consequently, drank…then refilled. The bottomless cup that is pennies proceeds for the next hour as we visit with all our friends in the beer garden behind Humphrey’s. Then it happens.
I’m not really sure how or why (well I do know why, fate, but anyway) but it happens. I am standing right across from GSB as Meghan talks to his roommate (most likely about how she accidentally wolf whistled at him earlier in the week). I know I’m staring but I can’t help it. I try to pretend that I’m listening and part of Meghan’s conversation. I know I’m failing miserably because I could not give a shit less what is being said between them. G-S-B. In front of me. Looking at me. Wishing he was with me (alright, alright probably not wishing that but a girl can dream, right?). He introduces himself!
“Hi, I’m ***,” he says and sticks his hand out for me to shake while holding his beer in his other hand. And he smiles. At me!
“I’m Kaylin.” I’m surprised I can remember my name let alone form sentences. Two words thrown together shouldn’t be that hard to say, right?
“Kaylin?” Ugh, my name on his lips is the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard. And he said it right!! No Karen? Or Kaitlyn? Just, Kaylin. Although, I do realize he probably knows my name.
“Yes, Kaylin. You know, you’re the first person to get it right the first time.” This is a major plus in my book.
“Why? It’s not that hard,” he says, slightly disgusted with all those before him who have butchered my name.
“So you’d think!” I reply, I think somewhat cleverly. The conversation goes on and I have no idea what else is said. All I know is that I HAVE to document this moment. So we take a picture. He puts his arm around me and smiles at me, then the camera. I fit so perfectly. Made for each other, that’s my thought. We smile and take the picture….new favorite picture of my life. Hands down. He’s gorgeous. I love him. I ride on this high for the rest of the night and come home happy.
I finally have an excuse to friend him on Facebook. So I do, first thing the next morning and he accepts almost right away. Then, I see him from where Meghan and I sit perched on the balcony enjoying the weather, talking about men. I see him twice. He smiles and waves both times! AH!!! I want to do something. I need to make a move.
I can’t do it. I am not a home-wrecker. What if he doesn’t respond? What if I look stupid? What if this ruins my reputation as a good, nice girl? How can I act like all the girls I have loathed my entire life because they did this same crap to me?
I know girls. I am a girl. And, yet, here I am. Plotting.
“You have four days to make a move or you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life,” comes later, quite loudly from my two roommates.
“I can’t do it.”
“WHY NOT?!!?! Do you know how long you’ve liked this guy and talked about him? TWO YEARS! Two years and you’re going to do nothing?! I may be smiling right now but you should know I’m pissed,” Nicki says.
I know she’s pissed but how do I explain that I just don’t want to act like all the girls who always tried to steal my boyfriend? (And succeeded, let’s be honest here….he was a prick).
“JUST DO IT!!” they both exclaim, “It’s your last chance. So shoo. Go do it. Now!” Yes, they literally shooed me and pointed down the hall toward my room like my mom used to do when she was seriously ticked and sent me to my room.
So…I go….to the bathroom. I am so nervous I have to pee and I am sweating. Nervous pee and nervous hot flashes. Great. I go to my laptop and turn it on. I go through my computer ritual.
Power.
Password.
Internet.
E-mail.
Other e-mail.
Facebook.
Maybe I should check LikeALittle. Filter. Girl, blonde (yes, I’m looking for myself. He could have written on there last night about me…or someone else could have; a girl has to keep her options open). I scroll down and find this: “If you don’t listen to your heart, someday you will wake up and say “if only…”
Meghan sees it at the same time I do. “That is a sign. You have to do this.”
Alright, back to Facebook.
I’m now joined by two hovering roommates as they watch me type in his name, G-S-B (okay so that’s not really his name but you get the picture). I sit, staring at the screen. His girlfriend had just written on his wall.
“That’s a sign. I am not supposed to do this.”
“Yes. You are.” She clicks on “Send Message” and continues to type the message for me.
“Hey, what are you guys doing tonight?” By including “you guys”, I don’t come off as such a sneaky, wanna-be-boyfriend-stealer and play it cool.
Nicki, Meghan and I have a bet going. I said he probably won’t respond for a long time, if at all. They both say it will be within a half an hour. I feel like puking. I have to go to the gym after this to run off all this nervous energy.
I sit, staring at the screen. My hand hovers over the mouse, poised to click “send”. I hear my other roommate, Emily, come in the apartment. Now or never. I click “send” and run, screaming out of my bedroom and do a lap around the apartment. I cannot believe I just did that. I’m the girl I hate.
Whatever. Gym time.
I wait for Nicki to get herself ready for the gym. Thirty minutes later I stand on the balcony. She’s ready. I check my Facebook via iPhone.
I HAVE A MESSAGE!!!!!!!!! Twenty-seven minutes after I sent my message. Damn them for always being right. “heyyyyyyyy!, not sure yet, I'm writing a paper and I haven't talked to the guys about it...Love GSB” ha-ha Just kidding he didn’t put “Love GSB” but the rest is true, I swear.”
My initial thought for a response = “I’m an English major; I could help you write that paper ;-).”
Instead, I go to the gym. “You’re welcome,” Nicki says with a smug look on her face as we walk out the door.
Two hours after his response, I reply. “Well, we just got back from the gym and still don't know what we're doing. I was just wondering if anyone was doing anything tonight.” Sneaky! See how I did that? Now he’s thinking of me all hot and sweaty (or so I can only hope).
No response, as expected.
Even so, Mission Make-A-Move = successful.
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