Nothing like a High Five from a Crush

Something was something yesterday.

I saw all but one guy on campus that I have had a thing with or was friends with.

Walking down the center of campus was like a movie reel of the past year at SLU. It was highly entertaining. 

Meghan and I were walking to the student center to sell my books back/to get some exercise/to enjoy the weather and the reel began.

GSB, naturally.

Then my favorite run-in of the day and one I will spend the most time on. I see my friend/crush, let’s call him….Fox (because he’s a total fox ;-) just kidding because I looked up from where I write this and saw the 

word fox….and he’s a total fox).

I spot him coming from just enough distance to prepare and worry that I look like absolute poo. Yes, poo.

He’s dressed up in all black coming from the direction of the B school. Lookin’ good. Crap. It doesn’t help 

Meghan is walking next to me saying, “Oh my God, I’m so nervous! I don’t know what to do with myself. 

What do I do?”

“Ha-ha, you’re not the one who hung out with him and likes him and hasn’t seen or heard from him since,” I joke. But seriously, I’m freaking out a little here. She realizes and we keep talking until the last minute where I have to look up and “see” him even though I already know what’s coming.

He sees me.

We walk toward each other smiling.

We’re almost to a meeting point but close enough so speak.

“Hiiii,” I say in the way that is specifically reserved for men I like and am happy to see. What can I say? It just comes out that way.

“Hi,” he says as his arm starts to lift….for a high five. A HIGH FIVE!! Really, Fox? Really? It happened, though.

Our hands meet in the air, in the gesture known as a high five, and then they lower. Together. He’s holding my hand still. Our hands linger together, fingertips touching for seconds longer than were absolutely necessary. I realize this and take back my hand.

He tells me he’s dressed this way due to a presentation he just gave. We talk about finals. I’m done, he still has one more the next day. We both feel the conversation coming to an end and we both go our separate ways with the excuse of changing clothes and selling back books.

We walk away from each other. I slap my hand against my forehead in an oh-my-God-I-can’t-believe-that-just-happened motion saying, “A high five! Really?”

I walk further and run into a friend, a guy from high school, GSB’s roommate that Meghan accidentally whistled at, and sell my books back. I head home and see GSB. The whole episode with him proceeds as I mentioned in the last blog.

I go to the gym. Nicki and I are discussing the events of the day. I’m freaking out, mildly. She’s thoroughly enjoying herself and says so. It is at this point that I roll my eyes at her affectionately and notice Fox across the gym. I tell Nicki and her smile gets even bigger. “I am loving this day,” she says.

I ignore her and get on my machine. I can feel her looking at me. “Stop looking at me,” I tell her. I don’t have to look at her to know she’s smiling all smug at me. I zone out and think my thoughts for the next two miles on the Arc Trainer.

I go about my workout routine. I am just getting off the most awkward machine when I pop up and see Fox walking, phone, keys, gym paraphernalia in hand, looking at me.

We give each other the nod. Smile. Take out our ear-buds and walk toward each other.

“Wow twice in one day,” I say. He doesn’t hear me and I repeat myself.

“Yeah, aren’t you lucky?” he says with a smirk.

“Or you!” I say even though he is so not lucky seeing me twice in one day without makeup, hot and sweaty.

“I just talked to your roommate,” Fox says about Nicki and something lets me know their conversation had something to do with me (which I found out later that it did. One point for Kaylin!).

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, she told me your plans to go to Club Fusion tomorrow.” The conversation goes on and he proceeds to tell me his plans for the weekend, including his proximity to my location ;-). “Hit me up….I’m sure I’ll be talking to you guys in the meantime.” There’s that “you guys” again, playin’ it cool.

Sounds good to me! We say bye and I finish my workout.

Thank God, he redeemed himself with this second run-in and didn’t high five me again! Nothing like a high five from a guy you have a crush on and hung out with the weekend before….thanks, Fox.

Green Shorts Boy Part II

It’s the last week of school. 

My time is running out. 

I have to make a move. 

It’s now or never…

It’s Wednesday night = Penny Pitchers at our favorite campus bar, Humphrey’s. He’ll be there. I get ready, have a few drinks. Liquid courage in this situation is a must. And we’re off to Pennies!

We walk into the Quad. And there he is!!!!! FATE? I think so!

We all walk together to the bar. We all know I love him. He knows. His friends know. I know and my friends definitely know. This fact is overlooked, for the most part. Aside from me walking behind him making pinching motions at his spectacular buttocks and fake-swooning, the walk is relatively normal and uneventful. Uneventful? YEAH RIGHT!! I’m in the closest proximity to my love as I have ever been.

We get to the bar. Everyone talks and moves on. “I love you!” I say to his back as he walks away so only Meghan can hear me. She laughs and we make our rounds. The night rolls on, pitchers are bought and, consequently, drank…then refilled. The bottomless cup that is pennies proceeds for the next hour as we visit with all our friends in the beer garden behind Humphrey’s. Then it happens. 

I’m not really sure how or why (well I do know why, fate, but anyway) but it happens. I am standing right across from GSB as Meghan talks to his roommate (most likely about how she accidentally wolf whistled at him earlier in the week). I know I’m staring but I can’t help it. I try to pretend that I’m listening and part of Meghan’s conversation. I know I’m failing miserably because I could not give a shit less what is being said between them. G-S-B. In front of me. Looking at me. Wishing he was with me (alright, alright probably not wishing that but a girl can dream, right?). He introduces himself!

“Hi, I’m ***,” he says and sticks his hand out for me to shake while holding his beer in his other hand. And he smiles. At me! 

“I’m Kaylin.” I’m surprised I can remember my name let alone form sentences. Two words thrown together shouldn’t be that hard to say, right?

“Kaylin?” Ugh, my name on his lips is the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard. And he said it right!! No Karen? Or Kaitlyn? Just, Kaylin. Although, I do realize he probably knows my name.

“Yes, Kaylin. You know, you’re the first person to get it right the first time.” This is a major plus in my book.

“Why? It’s not that hard,” he says, slightly disgusted with all those before him who have butchered my name.

“So you’d think!” I reply, I think somewhat cleverly. The conversation goes on and I have no idea what else is said. All I know is that I HAVE to document this moment. So we take a picture. He puts his arm around me and smiles at me, then the camera. I fit so perfectly. Made for each other, that’s my thought. We smile and take the picture….new favorite picture of my life. Hands down. He’s gorgeous. I love him. I ride on this high for the rest of the night and come home happy. 

I finally have an excuse to friend him on Facebook. So I do, first thing the next morning and he accepts almost right away. Then, I see him from where Meghan and I sit perched on the balcony enjoying the weather, talking about men. I see him twice. He smiles and waves both times! AH!!! I want to do something. I need to make a move.

I can’t do it. I am not a home-wrecker. What if he doesn’t respond? What if I look stupid? What if this ruins my reputation as a good, nice girl? How can I act like all the girls I have loathed my entire life because they did this same crap to me? 

I know girls. I am a girl. And, yet, here I am. Plotting.

“You have four days to make a move or you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life,” comes later, quite loudly from my two roommates.

“I can’t do it.”

“WHY NOT?!!?! Do you know how long you’ve liked this guy and talked about him? TWO YEARS! Two years and you’re going to do nothing?! I may be smiling right now but you should know I’m pissed,” Nicki says.

I know she’s pissed but how do I explain that I just don’t want to act like all the girls who always tried to steal my boyfriend? (And succeeded, let’s be honest here….he was a prick).

“JUST DO IT!!” they both exclaim, “It’s your last chance. So shoo. Go do it. Now!” Yes, they literally shooed me and pointed down the hall toward my room like my mom used to do when she was seriously ticked and sent me to my room.

So…I go….to the bathroom. I am so nervous I have to pee and I am sweating. Nervous pee and nervous hot flashes. Great. I go to my laptop and turn it on. I go through my computer ritual.

Power.

Password.

Internet.

E-mail.

Other e-mail.

Facebook.

Maybe I should check LikeALittle. Filter. Girl, blonde (yes, I’m looking for myself. He could have written on there last night about me…or someone else could have; a girl has to keep her options open). I scroll down and find this: “If you don’t listen to your heart, someday you will wake up and say “if only…”

Meghan sees it at the same time I do. “That is a sign. You have to do this.”

Alright, back to Facebook.

I’m now joined by two hovering roommates as they watch me type in his name, G-S-B (okay so that’s not really his name but you get the picture). I sit, staring at the screen. His girlfriend had just written on his wall. 

“That’s a sign. I am not supposed to do this.”

“Yes. You are.” She clicks on “Send Message” and continues to type the message for me.

“Hey, what are you guys doing tonight?” By including “you guys”, I don’t come off as such a sneaky, wanna-be-boyfriend-stealer and play it cool.

Nicki, Meghan and I have a bet going. I said he probably won’t respond for a long time, if at all. They both say it will be within a half an hour. I feel like puking. I have to go to the gym after this to run off all this nervous energy.

I sit, staring at the screen. My hand hovers over the mouse, poised to click “send”. I hear my other roommate, Emily, come in the apartment. Now or never. I click “send” and run, screaming out of my bedroom and do a lap around the apartment. I cannot believe I just did that. I’m the girl I hate.

Whatever. Gym time.

I wait for Nicki to get herself ready for the gym. Thirty minutes later I stand on the balcony. She’s ready. I check my Facebook via iPhone.

I HAVE A MESSAGE!!!!!!!!! Twenty-seven minutes after I sent my message. Damn them for always being right. “heyyyyyyyy!, not sure yet, I'm writing a paper and I haven't talked to the guys about it...Love GSB” ha-ha Just kidding he didn’t put “Love GSB” but the rest is true, I swear.”

My initial thought for a response = “I’m an English major; I could help you write that paper ;-).”

Instead, I go to the gym. “You’re welcome,” Nicki says with a smug look on her face as we walk out the door.

Two hours after his response, I reply. “Well, we just got back from the gym and still don't know what we're doing. I was just wondering if anyone was doing anything tonight.” Sneaky! See how I did that? Now he’s thinking of me all hot and sweaty (or so I can only hope).

No response, as expected.

Even so, Mission Make-A-Move = successful.