Call Me Old-Fashioned

I have spent a considerable amount of time over the past year pondering this, particularly over the last few months. So when I was asked recently what my top priorities in life were, my answer was immediate.

Love. Marriage. Family.

These have always been my priorities as well as my answers to that question, but as I grew - as I imagine is natural - they changed with the influence of the time I was growing up in, of friends, of family. In fact, when I was little, I remember people asking me what I wanted to be when I grew up, and my answer was always the same. A Mom.

Well as years went by, that answer changed - not in my heart, but in my words. It seems that saying what I really wanted out of life was no longer an acceptable answer in the eyes of the majority of our society. No siree. I was supposed to want to have a career of my own, make my own money, be "independent." and then settle down and have a family at the acceptable age (28-30). According to this way of thinking, I am to either want the sophisticated life of a businesswoman or that of a working mom. To say that a career came in lower than the first, second, or even third slot in my list of priorties was something to be balked at, pitied, and looked down on as if to say, "Oh you poor, simple girl" or better yet, "What's wrong with you? You have the priorities of a woman in the 1950s."

 

Call me old-fashioned, call me backwards, call me what you will, but when I am asked at the ripe old age of 85 what the greatest accomplishments of my life were, I can guarantee you that my answer will be finding the love of my life, having and raising my kids, and fostering the relationships that mean the most to me. If I accomplish something fantastic in my career, it will still come after these.

The relationships I have with my family and friends, with the man who I will one day marry and the kids we will have- these are my top priorities in life, but that does not mean I do not have lofty goals for myself in addition to these, I do. However, these are the things that matter to me the most and make me who I am, because without them I would not be who or where I am now, and I know they will continue to help shape me in the years to come. Everything else is extra. I will never look back and regret having fostered these relationships, loved the people I loved, or had the experiences I had because of them.

So if society or people I know pity me for wanting to share the tremendous amount of love in my heart with the people I care most about, for being "simple" in this way, I say go for it. To each his/her own. If you asked to give you an honest, true answer to what I want to be when I grow up, I'll tell you. It hasn't changed much. A wife and a mom.

By all means call me old-fashioned, I'll take it as a compliment. I'll be happy living my life the way I feel is right for me, loving the people in my life, and growing in ways I can't even yet imagine.